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Jag sätter axeln mot dörren och trycker allt jag förmår. Med en kraftig smäll går den igen bakom mig när jag med nöd och näppe lyckats pressa mig ut. Det blåser 25m/sekund, det är fredag eftermiddag och jag är mitt ute på fjället i ett vindskydd mellan Storulvåns fjällstation och sylarna i Jämtland.

Imorgon är jag ledig och då passar jag på att skida från jobbet på Storulvån för att få spendera dagen i fjällmassivet sylarna 16 km i sydlig riktning.

Jag sätter mig ner på knä för att hålla fast skidorna medan jag trycker i tån.
Annars blåser de i väg.
Fortsätter längst ledkryssen. Ibland ser jag tre, ibland bara en. Vinden kommer från sidan och jag känner hur höger kinden sakta tappar känseln.
Drar upp jackan ännu högre.
Tittar på klockan, det var en och en halv timme sedan jag slutade. Tänker att jag lika väl kunnat sitta på en tunnelbana på väg hem istället för här.

Har ni någon gång varit på fjället och känt väder? Det som sker är något som du finner på få, kanske ingen, annanstans. Man är utelämnad till sig själv. Vilket gör att man måste välja sitt eget sinnelag. Antingen drabbas man av hjälplöshet, panik och rädsla. Eller total harmoni.

Jag väljer det sistnämnda.
Fast vindarna klassas som storm är jag så lugn som jag knappt är någon annan stans i livet. Jag är bara precis just där. I kylan i mina kinder, i vinden genom mina jackor, i drivkraften att ta mig framåt.
Harmoni och lugn.
Invaggas och ödmjukt böja mig inför fjället och naturen.
Allt jag kan göra.
Känner mig självständig mitt i maktlösheten.

Middagen på sylarna serveras klockan 18. Tio minuter innan passerar jag det gamla vindskyddet och känner att turen börjar närma sitt slut. Middagen kommer kännas välkommen.
Trots att det bara tagit 2,5h så känns det som om längre tid har förflutit. Både hungern och mitt vindpinade ansikte känner det samma. Kinderna har vita fläckar och jag vet att de blivit onödigt kalla. Konstaterar att jag måste införskaffa tejp för att förhindra köldskador.
Vinddrivorna hänger tunga kring sylarnas fjällstation och för att komma in genom dörren måste vi klättra in. Inne doftar det gott av currygryta och ris.
Ute yr snön.
Imorgon hoppas vi på att stormen lagt sig, snön fallit på rätt ställen och vi förbereder oss för en heldag i sylmassivet.

Att träningen byts ut mot mer spontana rörelser känns behövligt denna tid på året.
Dagarna blir längre, turerna mer lockande bland vårklädda berg och man känner helst bara för att vara ute innan det blir dags att plocka fram löparskorna på riktigt med lite mer fokus.
Men några fler veckor med vindpinade äventyr finns än att fylla.
Jag välkomnar det med öppet hjärta.

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Skimogirls är ett kollektiv med tjejer som tycker om att vara i bergen, på vintern är det skidor med stighudar under fötterna och på sommaren i löparskor. Författarna på denna blogg är: Emelie Forsberg, Fanny Borgström, Erika Borgström och Ida Nilsson. Här kan ni följa deras tankar om idrott, prestation och vänskap. Trevlig läsning!

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